im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
