We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
