I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
