Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
