Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
