she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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