sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
its liver damage thursday
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
