Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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