Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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