Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
