She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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