Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
