covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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