East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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