i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
