Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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