So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
