I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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