Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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