Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
