I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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