Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
