A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
