just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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