hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
babies were throwing up all over the place
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
