I can text with my tongue
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
