There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
