think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
