just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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