why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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