Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
