Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
