i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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