Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
please come you make the beer taste better
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's never too late to be topless.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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