I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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