During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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