i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Ladies don't puke and tell
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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