I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
