How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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