"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
