I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
