You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Randomize