My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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