Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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