i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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