I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
