Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
