Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
