You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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