cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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