OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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