So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
