:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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