I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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