Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
