R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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