Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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