Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
