I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
