Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize